Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday
Unlike some Mama's to be, I'm not really worried about having everything ready for the baby... to be honest I've been pretty organised so far and it's not like the shops will be closed once little one arrives.
I'm more worried about baby right now - is little one ok in there? Is something going to go wrong? I always get the fear for a bit after hearing stories of peoples loss.
I think I'm actually more worried that I'm not worried enough about the future!
I overheard my parents talking about me at the weekend saying that I had no idea how my life was about to change.
But in a way I have every idea how my life is going to change... I'll never be the same again, I know that. Surely there's nothing you can do to prepare yourself for it? Except be aware that it's going to happen. That it's never going to be just about me ever again...?
One of my favourite bloggers - Heather B. Armstrong (www.dooce.com) - puts it perfectly regarding her daughters first five years...
"You have changed so much since that first morning you spent with us, a morning that altered my life so drastically that sometimes it still feels like I'm catching my breath. I imagine that I won't ever stop feeling this way, won't ever stop having a portion of my brain dedicated to the thought of where you are and what you're doing, won't ever be able to escape the constant, nagging hope that you are happy and fulfilled. My pulse is forever closer to the surface of my neck because of you, because of my responsibility toward you, and I can't thank you enough for the dimension that this has added to what it means to be alive."